Whilst many of us look forward to Christmas and all the festivities that normally come at this time of year, many of us also absolutely dread it. Whether single or in a relationship, it can be a very difficult time for more reasons than one. Yes, dealing with family and the stress this may bring will be a part of it but there is much more to it than meets the eye.
A lot of people will reflect on the year and what it brought them, looking at what happened – or didn’t happen. As human beings, we are often a little too hard on ourselves and this self-reflection is normally fairly negative. Whilst we may look at what we achieved, we will mainly look at what we didn’t. This is normally where all the future new year resolutions come from.
With social media taking a more and more prominent place in our lives, we also have more and more opportunities to compare our lives to other people’s. We don’t realise how much this affects us, as it’s often done on an unconscious level, but over time, it will reinforce our feeling of being inadequate or wanting something different.
The Christmas period is often difficult because it represents our hopes and dreams. Remember when you were little, falling asleep on Xmas Eve, wondering if Santa would come and what presents he would bring you… As adults, we actually still hope for that magic and some of us will end up disappointed.
You create your own reality
When we compare ourselves to others or wish for what we haven’t got, we focus on the negative and what we are lacking. The attention we give to what we so desperately want but isn’t in our life, will have an impact on how we view and feel things. So instead of looking at what you don’t have, look at what you’ve already got and what you have achieved.
Have a plan
Stress and anxiety often come when we feel out of control. Creating a strategy to get what you want will have a more positive influence on you. If you are single and not meeting the right person, or if you are in a relationship and not happy, you need to understand why. Then we can put the steps in place to rectify the problem.
Manage expectations
The relationship we have with others is a direct reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. The way to deal with other people is to sort yourself first, so before you start to manage other people’s expectations, you need to manage your own.
One of the reasons why Christmas can be a stressful time is because we feel it has ‘to be perfect’ and we have to ‘get it right’. We all have different ideas of what that should be and trying to conform to what others want is not helpful. Being true to what we would like is the way forward.
Keep it all in perspective
Christmas is a time to spend quality time with loved ones and create happy memories. It is also an occasion where we have the opportunity to slow down and reflect. By being true to ourselves and what our hearts truly desire, we will have a better experience. Remember that we all have our own opinions and accept that yours may be different. If you are to make one resolution this new year, make it to be you.
