In Part 1, we looked at the reasons why the traditional dating information available to us should be taken with a pinch of salt and mainly invites people to ‘play games, as opposed to being themselves.
The tips below are what I would class as real advice, which will hopefully give you a better understanding of what you should do, and help to take you on your very own journey.
Be Happy Single
Actually, finding a partner should not be the only thing you aim for. Some people have an air of desperation about themselves, which they are not even aware of. It is also often one the main reasons why they feel they can’t meet anyone.
Taking time out before rushing into another relationship is – without a shadow of a doubt – a must so you can reassess what you want from life. Learn from the past, look at what didn’t work for you and what did work. Be honest to yourself about what you truly want and focus on it.
So many people just settle on the first person that shows them some interest and enter the vicious circle time and again. Don’t be obsessed with the fact you are single and don’t be afraid to be alone. Enjoy your life and the rest will follow – ‘If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy taken’.
Be Honest About Who You Are
We have probably all been there at some point in our lives but it really isn’t about getting someone to think that you are ‘good enough’ or changing your personality for them… Again, this will only lead you to nowhere and is normally a sign you are not attracting the kind of person you need.
Look at whether the two of you are really suited, have the same desires and vision in life. Don’t tell white lies just because you want someone to like you and once again, be yourself – you will save yourself a lot of heartache that way. Remember that you are only wasting your time but theirs too. Relationships often do not work because people change – they don’t really change, they just remove the front and become their true selves.
We all have flaws
Don’t get hung up on the other person’s annoying little quirks… We all have them and should expect them in others too. They should only become an issue if some of the behaviours displayed show the signs of future lack of respect or abuse. Only then should you run for the hills.
On the same token, if someone says they are ‘too damaged’ or ‘too anything’, they probably are so take their word for it. Do not try and fix them as these people are normally happy as martyrs and don’t really want to be better. Besides, if they really want to change, only they can do the work required when they are ready to.
The more you worry, the less you will enjoy the experience for a start but if it doesn’t work, it just means you are not suited. Just take the rejection gracefully, there’s nothing wrong with you or them for that matter. It’s just not right so just be happy you had the chance to enjoy some time with that person and find out. Relax and have the confidence to be yourself. Relationships that do not work should not be regarded as failures but as learning opportunities.
More tips to come in Part 3…