In Part 1, we looked at the reasons why the traditional dating information available to us should be taken with a pinch of salt and mainly invites people to ‘play games, as opposed to being themselves. In Part 2, we explored the importance of being happy single, honest about who we truly are, understanding our flaws and why excess worry is pointless.
These are my final tips, which will hopefully give you a better understanding of what you should do, and help to take you on your very own journey.
Enjoy The Process – remember that a first date isn’t an audition for marriage nor an interview. It’s about whether you like the person, have things in common and want to see him or her again. Don’t start making plans early on, just take pleasure in the courtship process. Again, it’s all about finding out if you are suited or not so don’t assume anything and just enjoy the company!
Forget the ‘rules’, if you had a good time, contact the other person and say so. If they don’t contact you back, it doesn’t matter, you enjoyed yourself remember… You learn about yourself, others and what’s important to you by making mistakes and seeing different people – it is actually a benchmark and the reason why we know what we want or don’t want.
Meet People In Real Life – not virtually. Yes, online dating is convenient and you can go through the catalogues of faces from the comfort of your own home but in truth, it is not good for the soul. Being judged on the quality of a picture or a profile, which does not actually reflect your depth, what you believe in and who you really are, will do very little for anyone’s self confidence.
When you decide to go on a date, don’t do it just for the sake of it – if you know it’s not quite right, what’s the point? Trust your intuition. You will probably be better off going out with your friends and talk to random people.
Be Open Minded – yes, there must be chemistry but look beyond looks and don’t judge too quickly. We all age and change, sometimes at what is considered a young age. If you don’t like what’s underneath the cover, it won’t last and it won’t work.
In this world of social media where the sense of ego is often exacerbated, I strongly believe that expectations should be kept realistic. Accept people for who they are and don’t try to transform them or mould them into what you want. How would you feel if they did the same to you? Learn new things, compromise but always maintain your own identity and values. Don’t be one of the people who doesn’t give someone a second chance or look, and misses a great opportunity as a result.
One of the most important things is to take everybody you meet at face value and to give them a chance as individuals. We all deserve respect, however weird and wonderful our characters may be. Give everyone a chance, just because you never know? If anything, you may have just made a great friend. Expanding your social circle opens a world of opportunities – will you choose to embrace them?
So go forth, be yourself, meet others, drop the expectations and you will be amazed at the journey. Be in the moment and stop worrying about the future and what could be, it hasn’t happened yet…