Whilst I am certainly an advocate of helping yourself and taking responsibility, I think it’s important to acknowledge that we can’t always do it all on our own. That’s where coaching comes in and there are a number of reasons why it is beneficial.
Unfortunately, we’re not always realistic about what we can achieve, in both senses of the term. Sometimes, we don’t push ourselves hard enough or even believe that we can succeed because we doubt ourselves or are scared to fail. At other times, we are also completely over-ambitious and for instance, will write the biggest to-do list that will just never happen because there is simply not enough time in the day… And yet, still feel disappointed because we didn’t complete it all and therefore feel we have failed. This can be true for simple and unimportant tasks but is equally relevant in our lives and relationships.
Because we look at things the way we believe is best, we don’t always challenge ourselves as to whether a different way would work better. In fact, we are often completely closed off to any way that isn’t our own. By allowing someone else in, who is qualified to understand what you may not see and read between the lines, you give yourself a better chance to achieve more. Coaching will define realistic goals and guide you towards outcomes you may have not thought possible.
In the relationships sense, we see a lot of things in black and white, i.e. we’re right and they’re wrong… We forget that it is actually about a deeper understanding of our needs, of personal awareness and crucially, of acceptance. I personally use NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) as it helps to change or remove unhealthy behaviours that stop us from achieving what we want, be it to meet someone or to have a happy and healthy relationship.
The purpose is to allow you to master your own emotions, to put the past to sleep and through better understanding of why you do things the way you do (as well as getting why people do what they do…), to empower you. It takes you to a deeper level and in a safe manner, teaching you the importance of your own self-talk, but also how to communicate your own needs and how to get your point across in an effective manner.
Relationships are complicated enough as they are so why not give yourself a better chance of success and ultimately, a better life and more happiness?