Many of us live life waiting for something to happen. We have this unfounded idea that everything will be better once something happens and unfortunately, despite the fact this might come across as a bit harsh, this is called living in complete delusion. Being unhappy is one thing but starting to put conditions in order to achieve happiness is another… Especially as these conditions imply delays and may never be met. Anyone who has ever said any of the following falls into the deluded category:
- When I lose weight, …
- When I have a new job, …
- When I have more money, …
- When I have a boyfriend/ girlfriend, …
- When I __________________ (fill in the blank), …
The reason why is because it implies that we are not complete, and also without these happening, it then means that we cannot be happy. Only too often, once we achieve whatever we wanted, we will create a new condition. For example, once you have got a new job, you might say ‘once my probation period is over’ or ‘once I’m settled in’… So we spend our lives pretty much delaying our happiness, inventing very rational excuses in our own heads.
Sadly, and in the same way that if you’re not happy single, you won’t be happy taken, we often create these goals to avoid the true problem. What we set to achieve is very rarely the real issue so for instance, if you aren’t losing weight, there is probably a reason why that is. If you’re not happy in your job or your relationship or whatever else, there are most probably reasons for that too.
What you need to understand is that life will not be better when ‘x’ happens… It’s a bit like getting a new car. At first and for a very short period, it will make you very happy indeed but the novelty will wear off and it will become part of your routine. How about being happy now as opposed to a time ‘when…’? How about enjoying what you have in your life today? And if you aren’t enjoying what you have at the moment, then you need to assess what the real problem is and do something about it… Now. Today. Not when….
So think about what your first step towards happiness could be. What can you do, in the next 24 hours, to start changing your life? And then do it. Start! Stop delaying your life. Otherwise, you will wake up in a few years’ time to find that everything is still the same and nothing has changed…
