Keeping a relationship healthy and alive only takes little work if both partners are on the same page and there are some very simple ways to do so. It is however also easy to get swept away by life, work, routine and just ‘things’ that we forget about not taking each other for granted. It is important to remind ourselves of this from time to time.
Talk about what you think doesn’t matter
Talk about all the little nothings and insignificant details of your life. Over time and because of normal day to day living and work pressures, we can grow in different ways, and forget to talk about the little things that we think don’t really matter. These yet often become the important things that tear us apart. So many people spend a lifetime together yet don’t actually know each other anymore. They might know what sort of jam they like, how they take their tea in the morning, the way they scratch their nose and some of their habits, but they no longer know the person, what they stand for or what matters to them.
Do things apart
One of the issues that gets brought to my attention is that a lot of couples feel they have to do everything together when it comes to spare time. It may not be so obvious but often, one of the partners actually resents that and wishes they could have a bit more time for themselves, doing something they would enjoy more. We are not talking about routine activities here, or watching TV, but maybe opening themselves up to new horizons or hobbies. It is important to miss each other too, so you can look forward to sharing new ideas and having different things to talk about that aren’t what you already have in common. You are both still individuals, and doing things separately will actually deepen the bond.
Do things together
At the other end of the scale, another issue I regularly come across is that whilst many couples do things together, such as going shopping or on holiday, but don’t actually spend any fun or quality time with each other on a daily basis. Unfortunately, routine kills so many relationships in so many ways! It takes very little effort from both sides to carry on creating nice happy memories instead of becoming strangers living in the same house, watching 2 different TVs in 2 different rooms, and getting stuck in a rut. Of course, there is a time for individual relaxation and winding down, but if there are any existing issues, the danger is that the rift will only deepen. Couples with young kids are a prime example of where it can go very wrong, as they do not create enough quality time together (if any). Time pressures are obviously high, but making sure you spend 30 minutes a day with your spouse could prevent so many problems down the line.
Surprise each other
Again, it sounds so obvious but so few people do it. That’s probably one of the reasons why women often think men have done something wrong when they bring them flowers… It just needs to be simple things, like the bath being run for when they get in from work, or breakfast in bed. Little attentions and feeling taken care of make anyone feel wanted – it shows that you are thinking about the other person and don’t take them for granted. Besides, who doesn’t like a nice gesture and a bit of consideration? After all, it brightens our lives and makes us want to do more for the other person.
I am currently offering some free 30-minute Breakthrough Sessions, where we will look at where you are now and where you want to be. Together, we will look at ways to get you there FAST so that you can start getting the results that you want.