It’s easy to sometimes feel that there are numerous demands put on us by others and that can be quite tough. There are some simple things that we can all do to sort our social life so we only actually spend time with people who make us feel good, as opposed to draining us down.
The key is to be brutally honest with ourselves – do we really enjoy someone’s company or do we feel we have to spend time with them? Are we worried that we would upset them or generally try to convince ourselves that ‘they’re all right really’? All too often, we become people pleasers without realising it because we don’t want to rock the boat or voice how we really feel. This is particularly true in family situations, i.e. with the in laws… It is worth remembering that people will unconsciously pick up on what we don’t say and feel that we resent their company. Being assertive to your own needs (as opposed to being selfish) is very important if you are to take control and only spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
The second main element is mindset. If you set out with negative feelings about the time you are to spend with more challenging individuals, the more likely you are to have a bad time. We are like magnets so if you start to be more positive about yourself and your life, you will attract people who make you feel good, as opposed to those who would wallow in their own misery with you and moan about the state of the world or their lives.
The final thing to remember is to not get sucked in by social media and the way people like to portray their lives. This is particularly true of Facebook and we can all sometimes feel a little bit inadequate when we (often unconsciously) compare our lives with everyone else’s. The truth is that you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, so taking it literally with a pinch of salt will help you greatly.