Most people who have been single for a while are likely to have the same observations as to why they are still single. It’s often not their fault, it’s just that they haven’t met anyone or the people they do meet aren’t good enough or a certain type or it just never lasts.
There are often many reasons why someone will be single and struggling to attract the right dates or hold a relationship for more than a few weeks. These are often very personal to the individual and sit deep in the unconscious mind. However, they will have certain patterns of behaviour in common and will share some of the mistakes they make.
The first reason why people struggle to meet a special someone is often because they haven’t dealt with the past and emotional baggage properly. We often think that we know why a relationship has finished and generally the other party will take the blame. Unfortunately, this is the seed of why we then either attract a certain type of person or just cannot meet anyone. It hides in the unconscious mind and creates the way we behave and what we do.
Analysing the real reasons behind a separation is key. Let’s be realistic, we don’t go from really happy to really dissatisfied overnight. Sometimes, people have been unhappy for weeks, months or even years and it is important to establish what really happened, look at the signs that we could have picked up on and how both parties handled themselves. We normally can see there is a problem but bury our head in the sand. It is the accumulation of all the small things that creates the bigger issues but once we have identified what the root cause of the problem was, it is unlikely we’ll fall in the same traps.
Another reason why people may struggle with dating is that they aren’t happy with who they are as a single person. This is absolutely key as the signals that they will give out will determine the responses they will get. We should look for someone to enhance our life and not to fill a void that we can or don’t want to fill ourselves. This is where some singletons are seen as being ‘desperate’, they are only looking for someone to save them in some way and this will come across very strongly. So it is crucial to learn how to enjoy our own company and do what makes us happy before starting to look for a partner.
The third reason why single people struggle with dating and meeting others is that despite everything, they actually aren’t really open to opportunities or recognise them. We are often too quick to judge on looks and to just entertain what we see as eye candy. Talking to people for who they are and just enjoying their company is what we should do. After all, the average person knows approximately 300 people. If we get on with them, it’s because we have something in common so it is likely you will like and get on with their friends, who in turn also have friends… which opens us up to a huge network of opportunities. Let’s not forget that feelings often grow from getting to know somebody!
So if dating is a bit of a struggle, maybe the simplest way to sort it out is to look at it differently and just look to enjoy life… The rest will follow.
I am currently offering some free 30-minute Breakthrough Sessions, where we will look at where you are now and where you want to be. Together, we will look at ways to get you there FAST so that you can start getting the results that you want.