At certain points in our lives, we find ourselves wishing things were different, or we badly want something, a different outcome. We care about that an awful lot so we try our best to make it happen, but it doesn’t. We then try some positive thinking, we read books, we learn different techniques and tools… but it still doesn’t happen. So we start getting impatient and frustrated, resentful even of why such a good thing couldn’t be happening to us.
And the truth is, whilst I am a great believer in divine timing and everything happening for a reason, the issue is that sometimes we just get in our own way and literally, create our very own demise. The reason is often because we don’t do what we really need to do, which is to actually do something. Not quite to do anything, but to act.
Wishful thinking and slight adjustments to our routines are not going to bring us the results that we want, in any aspect of life, because the only thing that will is to take real action. However, making decisions is scary so instead, we unconsciously delay our own success because we somehow hope that we’ll find an easier way that doesn’t involve stepping out of our comfort zone or taking what we perceive to be risks. Yet we also know that if we do what we’ve always done, we’ll get what we always got.
So why do we self-sabotage and hesitate to make the decisions that will give us the results that we need? Whether it’s deciding on the fate of a relationship, making a business choice, changing jobs, dealing with the elephant in the room, or whatever it is we need to work on, what really stops us is fear. Fear of success or fear of change. And yet, that’s the actual thing that we do want…
When faced with a decision, we will consciously analyse all the pros and all the cons in our head. And because of our fears, we will give more weight and importance to the objections than we will to the positive outcomes. It’s just the way we are wired to do things. Then, because we decide to think about things, we enter the cycle of limbo, which will start to spiral into feeling sorry for ourselves, questioning why things can’t go our way, etc… We haven’t changed the way we do things but we still expect a different outcome.
It can be a bit of process to understand that certain situations present themselves because we haven’t taken action, but it really doesn’t need to be this way if we are consciously aware of it. The upshot is that more often than not, we will eventually act and make the decisions that we need. Unfortunately, we will often also wonder why it took us so long to do so and regret to have wasted time.
So, if there is something in your world making you unhappy, if there is something that you wish was different in your life, you need to stop getting in your own way… What is the first step you can take, not tomorrow but TODAY?
Everything is a decision. This is your life, how serious are you about it?
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