It is important to be reminded that as humans, we are still in essence animals. We have certainly evolved but if we go back to the cavemen times, the relationship between a man and a woman was mainly about survival. The dating scene at the time was as far from thrilling as it got and the average person would only meet approximately 50 people in their entire life time. Both men and women needed to reproduce in order to be looked after in old age, which was the prime motivator of the relationship. They would however work as a partnership where the man would go kill the buffalo and provide security whilst the woman would hunter gather and look after the cave.
It was actually only in Victorian times that the notion of romantic attachment became an essential part of marriage and now that we are in the 21st century, things have actually changed enormously. We now have gay marriages and the notion of love is the basis of any long term relationship.
For most of the western world, the focus is no longer survival. Since World War 2 and through socio-economic advances, most of us now seek comfort and ‘quality of life’. With the internet and advent of social media, we now have a very different outlook and always seem to want more. It could be argued that all of this has possibly made us a little bit more fussy as we seek perfection in all aspects of our lives, from the material aspects to careers and obviously love.
Perfection is a concept that is very personal to each and every single one of us as our own experiences and journey will have shaped us to want and need different things. It is important to point out that to achieve perfection, one must know oneself and be honest about their dreams, values, beliefs, interests and long term expectations. Once we understand ourselves, we are more likely to understand what is truly important within.
Accepting another person for who they are without trying to change them is also essential. We should love their good points, their flaws and complement each other. Both should look at life in the same way and head in the same direction whilst remaining true to themselves.
The key to a perfect relationship however is communication. It is often mentioned but also quickly forgotten about. It is one of the first things that goes in failing relationships along with sex, which is another way to communicate our feelings towards our partner.
People often feel that they do communicate as they talk about lots of ‘stuff’. Mundane and routine subjects do not count though… True communication is about feelings, emotions, expectations or inner thoughts and these need to be held regularly. It is also important to remember that only 7% of communication is words, 38% is the tone of voice and 55% body language. These must be in sync. A touch or a kiss are also simple ways to communicate our feelings and bring a sense of reassurance.
So does the perfect relationship exist? Yes, if we create it as what we want it to be. It is something very personal to two individuals and only they will understand that. Everybody else will have their own opinions on their life and ways of doing things so it is important to actually not listen to what people feel is perfection but to stick to what we believe it to be.