It can’t be stressed enough that getting to know someone properly is very important. All too often, when we start dating and find a person that we really like, we just rush into things without taking the time to really find out about them. It is unintentional, we actually think that we do get to know as much as we can. With all the excitement and promise of what could be, we don’t always pay enough attention to what they are actually saying or doing and instead see what we want to see or hear what we want to hear.
Taking the time to really get to know someone is in essence the foundation of whether the relationship will be successful or not. Obviously, it can be argued that it’s a lifelong process anyway as we will all change and evolve with age but the core normally remains the same.
A lot of people don’t always understand that you have to invest a lot of time and emotion into finding out how compatible you both are. There is simply no other way. It is not an easy task as it can leave you feeling like your relationships never work or last more than a few months. This is normally the point where we can become open to settling with anyone just because we want to feel loved and to be honest, that’s the worst thing that could happen. It’s where we normally go into ‘desperation mode’ and close our eyes because we don’t want to be on our own.
There is also a lot to be said about listening to your gut instinct. We often see things that we are really not so sure about as we get to know a partner or that we don’t like. I know that I certainly tried to silence the internal red buzzer a number of times over the years and that never served me… quite the opposite. So it is important to remember to dig further when you are unsure about something or to not ignore the signs.
When we start seeing somebody, we normally only see the positives and think that they are perfect. This is why there has to be a certain element of time investment. Attention to detail is essential and you need to quickly establish what the other person’s flaws are. Some you can live with and some you can’t, we are all different and certain things will matter to us where others don’t. And after all, we all have our own quirks! Sometimes, something that seems like a minor detail and of little importance will actually show that you both have very different values. This is where it is worth mentioning the importance of knowing yourself truly as well as your own ethics, beliefs and life goals. If they differ from the person you are with, you are probably setting yourself up for failure.
Honesty at an early stage is paramount. There is absolutely no point in trying to impress the other person because at some point or another, the real you will emerge and this is where relationships fail because ‘he/she changed’. Someone should love you for who you are… it is a common statement but just because you really like someone doesn’t mean that they are right for you so always be yourself or it simply won’t work.
So take your time, enjoy discovering your new partner and how compatible you both are… There is no rush, it’s all part of the journey.
I am currently offering some free 30-minute Breakthrough Sessions, where we will look at where you are now and where you want to be. Together, we will look at ways to get you there FAST so that you can start getting the results that you want.