The dating process is perceived as being quite difficult by most as well as quite emotionally draining. Single people often complain that they aren’t getting anywhere fast and that the kind of people they attract just isn’t quite right. If they attract any at all… It could actually be made a lot easier and even enjoyable if it was to be approached in a different way. We often forget the power of our own minds and what we can achieve when we really focus on what we want. And yes, absolutely, it does work for relationships too.
I personally use NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to help single people along their dating journeys. A simple way to explain how NLP works is that it is a set of tools and techniques used to re-programme someone’s brain by removing unhealthy behaviours and setting goals from the unconscious.
Through life, we all experience good and bad. Unfortunately, because of our very own and very efficient self-criticism mechanism, we normally wallow in the bad more than in the good. For instance, if someone pays us a compliment, we probably take it gracefully and feel good about it for a while but if someone tells us something we don’t like, we will probably still remember it in months to come.
We are also put in a box from an early age and we are told not to touch this or that because it burns or cuts… Or at school, when we are told not to talk because the teacher is speaking… And then at work, where HR or Health & Safety will also regulate what we can and cannot do.
So we end up in a world full of negatives where we don’t really allow ourselves to believe we can get what we want. It’s the same in dating. Once we have been on a few dates that have not turned out to be what we wanted, we kind of expect more of the same. When we talk to our other single friends, they have their own stories to tell so we all with dread the prospect of going through this.
It’s the law of attraction and if we focus on what we do not want, that’s what we will attract. The more negative we are about something or a situation, the worse it normally becomes. A simple shift in your mindset could totally change the outcome. It is not always easy and we sometimes need help as well as time to change but there are a few simple things that you can do to start initiating a different result.
First of all, do not allow yourself to be negative about going on a date. If you are not looking forward to it or not sure, why are you bothering to go anyway? You are just wasting your time as well as someone else’s.
Secondly, do not expect the ground to open, violins and fireworks when you meet someone for the first time as you will always be disappointed. Life is not a Hollywood movie and expectations are what fuels negativity so just take a date for what it is: a bit of time spent with someone to establish whether or not you’d like to get to know them better.
Lastly, focus on the positives of dating. Yes, we have all met some damn right weirdoes or boring people but that is what will only make us appreciate finding the right person even more. It is a journey after all…
It is all in the mind. Set it to what you want as opposed to what you don’t want, don’t wallow in the bad stuff, turn it to good and see what happens…
I am currently offering some free 30-minute Breakthrough Sessions, where we will look at where you are now and where you want to be. Together, we will look at ways to get you there FAST so that you can start getting the results that you want.