Now, I am the first to advocate that you should never ever change for anyone. This only leads to issues and disasters down the road as the true you comes back out kicking and screaming. Relations formed on that basis are extremely unhealthy and don’t normally last.
But what about changing for yourself?
I see many people struggling to get the relationships they want and there are a lot of commonalities between them.
They often claim not to have a checklist and say they have ‘core values’ that they will not compromise on. Because these are ‘core values’ and not a checklist, it is therefore allowed to carry on ticking boxes (or not as the case may be)… A lot of the time, they will blame others for not being right for them or blaming them for the fact it didn’t work out. Men blame women for being a certain way and women blame men for being another. Yet these people never once look at themselves and what they could do to improve?
These kinds of behaviours are very much a part of human nature and it is much easier to point the finger at everybody else than to look at yourself. It is a sad fact of life and means that actually, nobody wins.
A simple shift, a slight change of focus and a little bit of work to understand yourself and your unhelpful behaviours (the ones that sabotage you time and again) is all it requires. Improving your own awareness of who you are and how you come across or why you attract the people you do could change your life forever.
So do you need to change?